Franchise Follies

Is Inventing A Franchise, Rocket Science?

                    

There are certainly some brilliant franchise concepts out there. When I think of some of the really smart franchise ideas, a chill comes down my spine. Look at this list:

• Ebay drop-off stores
• Drive-Thru coffee huts
• Meal Prep concepts
• Cereal Only restaurants

There could be more of these in the near future.

There is another one that is brilliant in another way.....

Dr. Hydra Gen, a jet propulsion scientist, and a really sharp pencil in his own way, has been quietly selling franchises of his concept. This one could be a winner.

              Rocket Science Tutoring Center

A tutoring franchise that is totally different from the other more well known ones. Instead of targeting students that actually need help with their schoolwork, Dr. Hydra Gen decided to go after the MENSA bunch, who have never really had the opportunity to visit a tutoring center.

Dr. Gen:

"I wanted to give the parents of the really smart kids an equal opportunity to spend upwards of $60.00 an hour for some intensive tutoring. My research showed that these parents really felt left out."

Check out the particulars on this new franchise offering from Dr. Hydra Gen.

This interesting niche tutoring center franchise focuses on the exploding {exploding! get it hahaha...?} number of future rocket scientists being born here in the US every day. Started  by Dr. Hydra Gen, a  former scientist with the Estes Model Rocket Corporation, this unique franchise model is targeting the 25 major metropolitan markets in the US, and anticipates a yearly franchise unit growth rate of 2.77797722919 %.

Dr. Gen expects the economy's rate of growth to be 3.776% over the next 7.2 months, which is pretty good considering that it is now growing at a rate of -2%. {As of this writing.} 

Even though most franchisors are experiencing growth of only 1.2% year to date, Dr. Gen feels that the industry as a whole will grow by 2.3333398% by the end of the 2nd quarter of 2009.

{If you cannot convert the %s given to an Arbritary Triangle, then you have no business even looking at this franchise, because your child probably does not have the genes needed to figure it out, either.}

Joe The Plumber Replaced By Joe The Laptop. {Laptop Repairman}

                     New  Moneymaking Franchise Coming!                        

                                        

Business really moves at the speed of sound nowadays, doesn't it? Recently, the small business lobby, and politics, mixed it up on the campaign trail, and we all got to know this really cool, Toledo, Ohio, non-union-non-certified-non plumber, Joe. Well, as Joe fades away into the plumbosphere, a new franchise has emerged, and one that has brilliantly capitalized on the "Joe" in all of us....

Joe Delladella, a Pittsburgh native, who has been repairing laptops for the last 35 years, has decided to capitalize on his good name {Joe}, and has started the wheels in motion for the 1st ever Laptop Repair Franchise. Joe, known fondly as "Joe The Laptop Repairman" in the Pittsburgh area, decided to take his little repair business to the next level, after some prodding by a local politician, who met John "The One Who Called The Other Candidate That One" McCain, at a rally last Thursday at the local beer joint. Laura "Da Bomb" Rigatoni, is a highly unpopular Republican Congresswoman in the 14th district in Pa. Rigatoni, who is also a staunch McCain supporter, was the one who introduced John McCain's 3rd cousin, Bobby "The 3 Time Loser" McCain, to Joe "The Plumber" in August. Joe told Bobby his story, and the rest is history. {Maybe}

Joe D.{The Laptop Repairman} is a small business owner, and one who is really not too concerned about taxes, told this reporter the following:

"In 35 years, I have not had to pay a lot in taxes. You see, I am a really small, small business owner. Most of my customers are also really small small business owners, and we consider ourselves almost a family. We like to stick together, and our you know, philosphies are kinda the same. That commom philosophy is that we as small small business owners, try to not pay taxes. We have very low volume businesses, and our books definitely show that. As a matter of fact, I don't know if I should be saying this, but a lot of my client's pay in cash. I like cash. Anyway, after reading about this Joe The Plumber guy, and since my name is Joe, and since I also have a small business, it would be really smart to franchise it. The official name of the franchise is going to be called Joe The Laptop Repair Guy. Isn't that a great name?"

I asked Joe who he was using to help him develop the franchise for him. He told me that he decided to use a family friend, who also happens to be a business attorney. Max Blindstein, also known as Max "The Possum" is a familiar figure in Western Pa. Max help set up the now defunct Tony's Drive-Thru Peanut's franchise, a popular local favorite for 10 months.

Joe D. plans on charging a franchise fee of $65,000, which in the franchise industry is considered aittel on the high side. When asked about such a high upfront fee for a new franchise concept, Joe D. explained that franchisees will only have to pay a 1/2 of a percent royalty to Joe, because he wants his franchisees to feel the pleasure of having an almost all cash business. {The average royalty is about 5% of gross sales.?

No bookeeping software is included in the franchise fee. No payroll software either. Joe told me that he would be teaching franchisees his exclusive old world bookeeping system.

As of Press time, there was no further information on when the franchise would be offered to the general public. Knowing how aggressive Joe is, I wouldn't be surprised to see hundreds of these franchises located across the USA by 2010.

We will have to see how this "mostly cash" low royalty franchise model works out.   

Interview With Joe. Watch the video, now

Right Here

"Borrow This" Loan Brokerage Franchise Adds 1,000 New Franchisees!

                        

               
The husband-wife owners of Borrow This celebrating their 1,000 franchise being opened in the USA.                                    

Let’s discuss this brilliant franchisor. Jamie Lynn Banks was always at “the head of her class”, according to longtime friend, Tammy Faye Taker. Tammy tells Franchise Follies that Jamie was “always the one who was willing to pretty much try anything.”  Tammy goes on, “Yep. Jamie was not what one would call, shy. She always had several boyfriends, wore the nicest clothes, and drove fine cars.  Jamie was used to the best things in life, and always seemed to have them.”

Jamie graduated Summa. {In Arkansas, Summa means Summa people graduate, and Summa people don’t} She then tried her hand at the Middle Arkansas Tech School {Nail Technician school}, but failed miserably. She did however meet her future husband, and school headmaster, Daryl Roller, which turned out to be a home run for Jaime.

Daryl ended up bankrolling Jaime’s business idea…”a loan brokerage where anything goes,” Jaime would later tell Franchise Follies. “Pretty much anyone who was able to breath and fart on their own would have their loan requests accepted, and with very reasonable interest rates, too,” she said.

The loan business was really growing, and a franchise development company by the name of Franalot approached her to “franchise” her aggressive idea. Jaime and Daryl had a lengthy discussion, and decided to go ahead with it.

They decided on the name of “Borrow This.”  To them, the name was a one finger salute to all the naysayers who told them that they were crazy to give people loans that probably were not qualified. {Since aggressive loan practices like that were never adopted by traditional banks and mortgage companies, the couple was looked upon as pond scum, “who would get theirs!”}

With the current US economy doing so well, their franchise has really taken off. It is doing so well {It has grown to 1200 franchises in the last year!} traditional lenders and mortgage companies are starting to look at the Borrow This business model, and are starting to adapt their loan qualification practices to be more in line with what Borrow This has being doing for 3 years now. 

William Akers, the CEO of Arkansas Federal Bank Of Alabama said that “This is the perfect loan model. It will always work. It’s not like our bank could ever fail with this new business model.”

Perfect.

For more information on Borrow This, contact:
Paula Paulson, Director of Franchise Dev.
1-800-000-000
{How the heck did they get that great phone number? Maybe they know someone in Congress…}